Month: April 2010

Happiness Quotient

You’ve all likely heard about the Intelligence Quotient, or IQ.  IQ is a score derived from one of several different standardized tests designed to assess intelligence.  And if you really desire to learn more about IQ, you can go here:  Wikipedia.

And while many people believe that your IQ is very important in life, I’d like to offer a different possibility.

Happiness Quotient

If there were a series of standardized tests to assess happiness, or joy, what would your HQ score be?

Probably not something you’ve ever even thought about, right?

Well, let’s think about it a bit.  What is your “happiness quotient” or what would it be if there were a test?  Would it be high?  Or would it be average?

Be honest.  You’re not answering me here…you’re answering yourself, so please be honest with yourself.

Happiness Can Change

Your HQ might change a bit from day-to-day, depending on how each day goes.  You may have a day of let’s say 100HQ and a day of 45HQ.  Overall, though, there should be a trend.  Overall, you should see a predominant set of numbers, either on the high side or the low side.

Maybe Joy Would Be Better Here

Maybe it would be better to use a Joy Quotient?  Since joy is what we are.  And happiness ebbs and flows with our circumstances.  But joy is pretty constant…true joy.

Either way…

I’d like to invite you to examine your HQ or JQ, whichever you prefer.  Take an honest look at your daily life and determine whether you’re an all-around “happy person” or whether you might desire to do some things to raise your HQ.


We’ll examine how this might be important a little more in-depth.

Much Gratitude,


Communication Flub

I really, very strongly dislike when I say something that makes perfect sense to me but lands on the recipient and leaves them in complete confusion.  This happens quite often with me because I hold some strange points of view that when examined closely can often just be a case of semantics, but when it offends or upsets the other person, I feel badly for that as it was not my intention.

In the interest of being my true self, I will share an incident.  The tanning salon I use is owned by a man and on occasion a friend of his stops by during my session.  They are quite a lot of fun, the two of them.  Yesterday, the friend said that he was a nice guy and I replied, “You’re too fun to be nice.”  (Open mouth, insert foot.)  What I couldn’t get straight until AFTER I’d arrived home was how to explain to him my version of “nice.”


When I hear nice, I tend to think of a superficial and shallow state.  Nice doesn’t feel real.  It’s what happens when under observation or with an agenda.  Nice is something people “do.”

Where I got stuck…

I got stuck trying to explain this to him. TOTAL, complete and utter stuck.  My brain was locked up…it was in jail!


The other half of what I couldn’t communicate to either of these wonderful men was that I perceive them as KIND. Kind is deep.  Kind is abiding.  They are both kind, caring and genuine individuals and that is why they are such fun!  Kind is a “being” not a “doing.”  And if these two amazing individuals know nothing else, they know how to “be.”

In my point of view, kind carries a completely different vibration than “nice.”  Maybe it’s overused?  Maybe it’s thrown around too haphazardly?  I don’t know what it is.

Here’s an example:  Someone buys a gift for you.  They clearly put thought into it, getting you something that fits your personality and style.  You tell them:

A — Thanks.  This is nice.


B — It was so kind and caring of you to get me this gift.  I can tell you put a lot of thought into it.  I am very grateful that you thought of me.

Can you FEEL the difference in those two “Thank you’s”…one just feels flat, superficial and shallow, doesn’t it?

I’m blond…

I’ll chalk it up to a “blond moment” and one of the primary reasons that my motto is:  “Cute, not bright.”

I sat there completely locked up, with my brain in jail, while these two wonderful men tried to reason that they were “nice guys.”

I felt horrible!!

I couldn’t make a sentence even form.

My Apology

Today, when I stop in for tanning, I will be able to communicate this to the owner (and maybe his friend, if he happens to be there) and hopefully shed some light.  And I will apologize.  I will apologize that my brain went to jail and I couldn’t form a sentence to communicate to him the kind and caring individual that I perceive him to be.

Much Gratitude,


Bodies Know

Our bodies never ever lie to us!!!

I know.  This might be a stretch for some.  It’s true.  They do not lie.

My Dinner Last Night

I was driving home and passed this little restaurant and thought, “Oooh, they have good chocolate cake!”  So, I turned around and went in.  Once inside, I sat pouring over the menu trying to choose what to have for dinner (because I couldn’t just go straight to dessert right? That would be totally unheard of.) and not finding anything on the menu that sounded good.  I ordered Spaghetti Ala Leonardo.  My salad arrived and I ate the good stuff…the tomatoes, cucumbers, etc…and left the majority of the lettuce.  Then dinner came.

I ate about three bites and sat there saying to myself in my head, “Self.  Why did you order this?  We wanted chocolate cake.  Not spaghetti ala leonardo!  Cho-co-late cake.”

I asked her to box up the spaghetti…I’m not sure why.  And I left.  I felt somewhat sick after eating the spaghetti that clearly, my body did not desire to eat!

Have you ever done this?

It happens not only with food, but with clothes and activities.  Our bodies communicate something to us and then we second guess and think, “No.  That couldn’t possibly be correct.”

With food it can show up as I described above…complete dissatisfaction with what you are consuming.  One of those days where you sit and think, “I should’ve just ordered the steak I actually wanted instead of this salad.”

With clothes it might show up as feeling uncomfortable until you put on that top that you had initially thought about, but then “decided” wasn’t appropriate or whatever.

With activity it can also be that feeling uncomfortable or even pain.

Bodies are conscious

Our bodies are completely conscious.
And they talk to us all the time.

Why do we ignore them??  They never lie.  Seriously…NEVER.

Bodies don’t lie

I was out with a friend and the first thing I noticed on the menu was the filet mignon.  I’d just had steak, though and thought that I’d rather have the salmon.  But every time I looked at the menu, all I saw was steak.  My body really desired steak…and I actually had an “argument” with my body.  But since I’ve (mostly) learned to listen to my body, I ordered the steak…albeit reluctantly.


See?  Body knew.  Body knew what I was unwilling to know.  So, kudos to you body!!  Thanks!

My Invitation

Tune into your body when choosing something that affects it…like food, clothes, movement, etc.  Ask your body what it would desire to have or do.

Would you be willing to let go of all the cultural mindsets about what you “should do” and just ask your body what it would like?

In Gratitude,

We’re All Connected

“What is man without the beasts? If all the beasts were gone, man would die from a great loneliness of spirit. For whatever happens to the beasts, soon happens to man. All things are connected.” ~ Chief Dan George

I’ve explored this idea of connection for some time and have gained many new insights and awarenesses around these connections and what they can mean for us.

All things are connected.

This means that we are all connected.  We are connected to each other, to other living things and to God or the universe or whatever you choose to call that.  We are all connected.

If we are all connected, then the things that we do affect others.  The thoughts, feelings and emotions that we express can influence and affect those around us…and those around those around us…and so on.  Like a ripple on a pond.


I perceive exclusion as a sort of “killing” energy.  It’s not joy.  It’s not ease.  It’s not exuberant living.  It’s kind of the opposite of these things.

If we are all connected, can we really exclude anyone?  We may try, but can we?  What affect does exclusion have?

My Experience

There are often certain people in life that we wish to exclude.  We may not like the way they make us feel.  Maybe it’s the way they treat others that bothers us.  But for whatever reason, we would like to exclude them from our lives.

Seeing how we’re all connected, when we choose exclusion, we not only can exclude that individual, we exclude others as well.  When we cannot receive that individual for the being they are, then we essentially restrict our ability to receive from everyone.

My Invitation

I’d like to invite you to stop doing exclusion.  Allow for more receiving from everyone by eliminating exclusion from your daily activities.  When we are willing to receive from everyone and everything, we are able to receive more.

I’m working on doing this with my ex who I have been excluding a lot.  But if I’m not willing to be in allowance and to receive, then I am cutting off other areas of receiving as well.  So, I am “including” my ex (energetically) so that I can receive more from life as a whole.

**A Note**

This does not mean that you keep someone in your life who treats you like garbage all day and night.  You deserve more!  What I’m talking about here is more at an energetic level…an “unconscious” level.  You don’t have to spend time with that person, you don’t have to go into their universe…just don’t exclude them.  Allow the energy to flow through (not to) you.

Would you be willing to let go of the places where you are functioning from exclusion and allow yourself to receive?

In Gratitude,


“Circumstance does not make me, it reveals me.”  -William James

In life we have many, many choices.  There are times when we feel as if we do not, but ultimately, we have total choice in our lives.

Have To

You’ve no doubt heard someone talk about how they “have to” do this or that.  Many people talk in terms of “have to” and see life as a constant stream of “I have to do this” or “I have to say that.”

Is anyone holding a gun to their head?!


Life is a choice.  You choose.  Then choose again.  And again.

We have total choice.


If our circumstances reveal us and our choices make our circumstances what they are, then what we choose reveals who we are at our core.

We may try to put that revelation off on others with our “have to’s.”  We may like to pass off that responsibility.

The reality is:  It’s our choice!  (Why would anyone choose to give up that much power in life to others by making everything a “have to” is beyond me.)


Get back into the driver’s seat of life.  Your life.  Let your choices and circumstances reveal YOU.  The real YOU!

Would you be willing to let go of all the “have to’s” in your life and live your life from choice?

Much Gratitude,