Choice

A Matter of Heart

As the election approaches and Democrats & Republicans & Independents all remain divided and as candidates debate issues, telling America what they think we want to hear, I have been aware of a few things that I thought I would get in writing here. As the circus travels from town to town and is spread all over television, I notice a few things about it all.

I know my words mean little and maybe someone somewhere will look at this and it will resonate.

Current state of affairs

We live in this world where everything and everyone is divided. You up, me down. You left, me right, him in the middle, her over there. People labeled. Animals tortured. Children tortured. Wars. People screaming at each other and NO ONE listening.

The matter?

As I look around me at people, I see a common thread.

Separation

People are so separated! We are separated from each other. We are separated from the Earth. We are separated from nature and all it has to gift us. Families separated. Communities separated.

In our attempts to join every platform and be more connected, we have only created more and more separation.

Most of all, we are separated from ourselves. We become so enamored with pushing an agenda or taking a side, that we separate from ourselves. And when we separate from ourself, we cannot connect with others. The more we try to connect with them by siding with them or agreeing with their agenda or getting them to agree with our agenda, the more separate we become from who we truly are.

The Heart

It’s a heart matter.

As separation increases so with it violence.

Many in our country are concerned over guns. Many are concerned over abortion. Many are concerned over war. Some share concern over greed and elitists.

ALL of this ties back to one thing.

Gun violence is a heart matter.
Abortion is a heart matter.
War is a heart matter.
Greed is a heart matter.
It is ALL a matter of heart.

We are so far removed from ourselves.

The gangs that drive through and shoot up houses don’t have a gun problem, they have a heart matter. The people who start wars have a heart matter. People who are greedy and care only about what they think they want….you guessed it…heart matter.

So why?

Why the focus on guns? Why the focus on wars? Why the focus on planned parenthood? Why the focus on the rich?

Because we cannot change someone’s heart as easily as we can take away their guns or tax their money. We cannot change another person’s heart. That choice is theirs to make….or not make.

We have no control over that and we don’t like it. So we try to control what we can control. Gun control. Drug control. War control. Birth control.

We don’t like what we can’t control. We can’t control others’ choice for separation and division. We can’t make someone become re-connected with their true inner self. We can’t make them look at their heart.

So we lash out in every direction. Guess what? That only creates more separation.

Look inward. How am I contributing to separation right now? What can I do to change that for me?

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Adversity or Struggle

Let’s face it.  We have all run into adversity in our lives.  We have come up against obstacles that either called out the fighter in us or called out the runner.  Everyone handles adversity in their own way, at their own pace.

I read a quote recently that, once again, got me thinking.

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Adversity is not the same as struggle.

Even grass encounters adversity in the form of concrete or landscape fabric.  And yet, it still grows…without struggle.  (Believe me, my flower beds are proof!  How does it DO that?!!)

Water encounters adversity in the form of rocks or trees or banks.  Yet, it flows…without struggle.

What does this tell us about the nature of our lives?  Struggle is un-natural.  We are not meant to struggle.

Adversity, on the other hand, is part of living and yet, not synonymous with struggle.

How can we move through life, even adversity, without struggle?

It’s really simple.  Let go of making things into a struggle.

Better yet, let go of the belief that life is meant to be a struggle!

What if we all gave up the idea that life = struggle?  I know people like that.  I used to live like that.  If I wasn’t struggling somehow, I wasn’t living.  People create drama and trauma and struggle as if that is a measure of whether or not they are real or valuable or living.  Can we please let that go??!

Not sure how to let go of struggle and embrace adversity in a way that creates a life filled with ease?

Doesn’t seem possible?

Are you willing to at least explore the possibility that it might be?

 

A Case of the Mondays

It’s interesting how many people seem to loathe Mondays. There are pictures about the Mondays.

There are movies that talk about the Mondays!

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What is it about Monday that is so dread-full that we coined the phrase “the Mondays?”

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Let’s look at the Mondays for a moment….

It’s the day most people return to work.  Monday signifies the end of the weekend, presumably filled with play and fun, and the return to work, presumably not-so-much-with-the-fun.  And yet, there are plenty of people whose work week is Wednesday through Sunday and they even complain about the Mondays.

So, maybe that’s not it.

I checked out Google “why people hate Mondays” and the answers were pretty much the same…

Start of the work week
Start of the school week
Back to responsibilities
Back to reality

What if there were a different way of looking at the Mondays?

We create our reality with our choices.  If we choose to have the Mondays and operate as if Monday is filled with dread and blah and awful things, guess what will show up?!!  A day filled with dread and blah and awful things!!!  We could create the Mondays on any day of the week, just by our point of view about that day.

What if Mondays were like this?

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Because having the Mondays is, afterall, a choice that we make.  And we can easily choose to turn the Monday blahs into the Monday ahhhhs!

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An even greater possibility for Mondays…

What if you enjoyed your job so much that every day was Monday and Friday all at once?!!!  How cool would that be?

Or what if you could create your own schedule so that you could work on the days you choose to work and never have the Mondays again???

It’s possible!  I make it happen that way every….single….day

The Definition of Insanity…

Albert Einstein said the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result.  I’d have to agree with him…that point of view would definitely land me in a straight jacket.  I mean, doing the same thing all the time and then wondering why nothing is changing…crazy making!

OK.  So, I stumbled across a highly funny and very irreverent blog.  And I adore it.  She writes great stories, complete with illustrations.  Very talented in my point of view.

Here it is!

How often do we do this?!  How much of the time do we choose something with a sense of blind faith that this time it will all work out?  How often are we surprised that it turned out the same?  How often do we judge ourselves RELENTLESSLY for choosing it again?!

Would you like to have a new possibility?

No, nevermind.  You wouldn’t desire to change that.  Alright then…

Insanity

Choosing something in blind faith that it will work out differently rarely works out differently.  When we choose in blind faith…whether that’s a partner with behaviors we don’t like and we blindly trust they’ll change or choosing to re-friend someone who has hurt us over and over because they promise this time will be different or if it’s as simple as Allie’s example of dancing or jumping…we are NOT, I repeat NOT choosing from a place of awareness and knowing.  We are closing off awareness, we are ignoring our gut.

Sooooooooo, why, oh why, would we even thiiiink it would turn out differently?

We are so freakin’ cute!

Would you like to choose awareness over blind faith?

Is that a rewarding choice?  Just choose.  Or not.

Would you like tools to help you trust your awareness?  To learn to listen to your gut?  Ask questions.  Let me know.  Tell me how you’ve ignored awareness.

Much Gratitude,
Sarah

What are the infinite possibilities this could work out even better than I could ever imagine?!

Happiness Quotient…the end

The secret to happiness? Receive everything with ease, joy, gratitude and the exuberant expression of you! Let go of what doesn’t expand your life and embrace everything that does!

I know…easier said than done.  Or is it??  What if it were easy?  Who says it has to be difficult?

I can hear you…

But, Sarah, it’s not easy to just choose happiness!  You don’t understand what my life is like.  You don’t know what happened to me.

Does that reason and justification expand your life and possibilities?  Or contract?

I used to be the queen of reason and justification!  I used to have a million reasons for why I wasn’t happy or couldn’t be happy.  I was in an unfulfilling marriage.  I had friends who were only “friends” because we had children the same age…otherwise we had absolutely NO reason to be in close proximity.  All of my relationships were controlling and I felt as if I was choiceless in the choosing.  I was pretty unhappy and felt powerless to do anything about it.

Marriage – I said til death do us part and dammit, I’m gonna honor my word.  I’m stubborn and I don’t quit.  I can’t possibly choose to leave…that’s not an option.

Friends – If I don’t spend time with these people, I’ll be cooped up in this house all day and night with the kids and I’ll go nuts.  And it’s good for the kids to play and socialize.  I can’t stunt their development!  I’d be a horrible mother.

Controlling relationships – They only do/say those things because they care so much.  (Yes, I was a bit delusional then.)

Unhappy – This is just the way life is.  All this stuff happens to me and makes me unhappy.

Then I grew up…

Not really.  I did, however, become aware of the fact that happiness is a choice and I was not taking responsibility for my choices.

If I desired more happiness, then it was necessary for me to take responsibility for my choices and eliminate those things which do not contribute to my happiness.

And guess what?!?

All those choices that were not contributing to my happiness…I don’t even miss them!  Haven’t missed them for even a minute.

And now, I have loads of happy and joy all the time, because I choose those things which contribute to happiness.

How does it get any better than that!?

Sarah

PS–To find the first 2 posts of this series go here and here!